Currently on Hiatus
Sometimes a break is needed.
I don’t know. Call it perfectionism, or call it whatever you like, but I believe there is a certain level of discipline that’s required of you when you’re in the business of spiritual work. I was once told that it wasn’t necessary to meditate everyday in order to do readings, and through trial and error, I agree this is true. But, also, through my own experience of not doing so, I noticed how less confident and connected this made me feel in my practice. Somehow, I felt like a fraud if I didn’t meditate everyday, or do regular spiritual baths, or rituals. I just felt like I wasn’t holding myself to the standard that my clients deserve and that I myself require.
I have taken breaks before. Some announced, some unannounced. This break feels personal to me. This break is about serving me better so in due time I can come back, if that’s what universe wants me to do, and serve my clients better. I’m no good to you if I’m not good to myself, if I’m not being true to myself. I value the work that I do so much that I will stay in integrity and pack it up. I will be upfront with you as my client and explain this is not a good time, and if you’ve already booked a reading with me, I will not hesitate to refund you. This work is NOT about the money for me. I mean sure, is it another source of income? Yes, yes it is. Does it make me money? Yes, it does. But not everything is about money. I know we live in a material world, but call me crazy - that’s not the world I live in. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are spiritual beings. This world, is nothing short of a miracle. Just take a look around. Look how the flowers bloom in the Spring. Look at the ripples in the ocean. Just observe nature and all its glory and you too will understand that it’s impossible to view this experience as just mere material. Knowing this, allows me to accept that not everything is about money. Sure, “money makes the world go ‘round,” but does it? There are countless occasions where I have been at rock bottom, not even knowing where a next meal will come from for myself and my daughter, and I can promise you the universe has provided each and every single time. I have no clue how or why - but my faith in the universe knows no bounds. I trust that even without money or material possession, we will be taken care of.
I’ve already lost followers on my IG account and at first I found myself feeling bad, but the more I lost followers due to my hiatus (or for whatever unspoken reason), the less detached I became of any outcomes. Everything happens for a reason. I’m little concerned with losing followers (even clients!), and more concerned with the evolution of my being. For a long time, I’ve lived for others and rarely for myself. I’ve seeked validation outside of myself and all that ever got me was set back. Not everyone has your best interest at heart no matter how much they say they love you or how long you’ve known them, or even if they are friends or family for that matter. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and getting hit with the “fuck it’s,” but quite frankly, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. Like I said, this hiatus is PERSONAL. May I stop and restart as many times as I like - that’s my prerogative. I’m putting my trust in my own inner knowing and my journey doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but me. If in the process of me sharing my journey, you find yourself relating or seeing yourself in me, then I reached my goal. I’m spirit, having a human experience on Earth school just like you. My job is to be a student and a teacher of life. You’re welcome to embark on this journey with me - come hell or high water. I’m not perfect. You can watch me sink or swim - as I’ll flux between both. But as for now - I’m not taking on anymore clients. I don’t have it in me to give to you what I am not giving to myself. In this time, I choose me.
I hope you’ll understand.
