Pick Me
I remember when all I wanted was to be recognized, praised, and validated by other people. I was nothing if you said I wasn’t. Harsh to say? Maybe. It wasn’t hard to believe since I didn’t think much of myself anyway. Have you ever felt like that? As if you were nothing if someone else didn’t acknowledge, praise, or recognize you?
Chances are, if you were anything like me, you had little to no concept of your self worth and value. You were probably busy pleasing everyone else around you, except yourself, on the premise of being liked.
They say a lot of these beliefs are picked up in your earlier years, in your developmental years. Maybe you had parents that did’t listen to you or pay attention to you in the way that you wanted or felt you needed. You probably had a lot of unmet needs. Ultimately, those feelings of rejection ended up bleeding into your present reality and you found yourself competing for the attention of friends, family, and even romantic partners.
I remember when I wanted to be picked so bad, “ooh pick me, pick me!” Without knowing that I was getting picked to be bamboozled, toyed and played with, for someone else’s selfish ulterior motives, mostly to boost their own ego and mask their own insecurities. In time, and my own personal experiences, I realized hurt people, hurt people. A lot of people out here are projecting their own insecurities onto you and their self-limiting beliefs. Maybe you’re actually someone who is quite optimistic about life despite the chaos and traumas that you’ve been through, but the people around you, though seemingly “having more,” are envious of your drive and your relentless pursuit to do and be more. They don’t understand how you can have “less” but still do more. That’s been my experience. I’ve suffered. A lot. I’ve endured. A lot. But somehow, I’m still standing. Somehow, I keep going - with a smile on my face, because why feel miserable in an already miserable situation? The LEAST I can do is smile through it - whistle while you work, right? And why does that make other people so upset with you? It’s because misery loves company, and a lot of people want to see you do good, but never better than them. So if you trusted them enough to reveal your pain points, trust and believe they will use them against you. They’ll treat you like a yo-yo, pick you up and drop you any time they see fit, as they know your desires of wanting to be included and “fit in.”
But, there’s a reason why you don’t “fit in.” There’s a reason why you weren’t invited and got rejected. You weren’t meant to sit at everyone’s table because not everyone has the right intentions with or for you. Sometimes you’re just there for their “entertainment,” and just as quickly as you were allowed in, you will be discarded.
That’s why it’s important to learn to pick yourself every single time. Learn to pick yourself so you’re not volunteering as tribute for someones else BS. What’s for you, will always be for you and it doesn’t take a person, place or thing to reject you first, in order for you to redirect the focus back on you. The universe has bigger plans for you and it doesn’t involve you being a “pick me.”
Choose YOU.
